Dear Katie, Circa 2005,

You can do this. 

You don’t know it yet, but God is going to be introducing you to the love of your life in just a few months. He will push you WAY beyond on your comfort zone, but he will do this out of love, selflessness and completely and utter respect for who he knows you can become.

It will be hard.

The internet will eventually make it easy entry for photographers to get the education they need to start their business. But you, you will be proud of the hard work and trial and error you put in to this business to really find out who you are as an entrepreneur and photographer. Oh, and by the way, it will take you 10 years to really feel “in control”…for like a minute.

You will cry a little. Ok. A lot.

You will have happy and sad tears throughout this entire growth process. You will feel like you completely ruined a couples wedding day more than once. You will feel like you failed your family because you can’t shut your brain off from business. Finances will be hard for to get the hang of. But don’t forget, your husband will be right there with you along each step, ready for you to cry on his shoulder (and to tell you to “suck it up”), but he’ll also understand each ever tear that your shed.

You will want to quit.

Like twice a year, you’ll want to give up and say “I don’t know what I’m doing, this is too hard, I just want a freakin’ desk job and not have to stress out over this business anymore.” Don’t give up. I can’t give you exact ways to overcome this, but I can tell you that you have to feel it. You have to let yourself feel that desire to give up. You may feel it for a month straight at times, but I PROMISE one morning you will wake up and say to yourself “I don’t want to give up. I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I do and I can’t imagine my life any other way.” Literally, just feel it. It’s safe to say that this is part of your process.

You are not in control.

You cannot plan EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of the day. You will eventually live by the following mantras 

“It will be what it will be.”

“God will provide the weddings He wants us to have.”

“Give yourself Grace in between the stress.”